Do Marriages Fail?
Knowing of several recent and upcoming marriages, I wanted to share some thoughts on the subject of marriage. Starting with a recent comment by the actor Ashton Kutcher after the public announcement that his wife of six years had filed for divorce.
“Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail. Love and Light, AK,”
I would like to take issue with this statement. Although I am afraid it’s not very far from the view that many in our society hold toward the institution of marriage.
First of all, he makes it sound as if for some unknown reason sometimes marriages just don’t work. As if they arrived from the manufacturer already faulty. It is implied there was nothing either of them could do about it and that’s just the way it happens sometimes. That just ain’t so.
Marriages work when the two individuals (one male, one female in case you are confused) are committed to God, then to each other, and lastly to our own interests. Being first committed to God gives recognition to a higher moral authority, that we will have to answer for our actions and therefore will conduct ourselves in a way in which we are accountable. Consider the instructions of the apostle Paul:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. – Ephesians 5:25-29
God designed marriage to fit the things in man which were lacking. A woman was designed to make man complete. Husbands have a command to love their wives. Commands from God are to be obeyed, obedience is not a matter of chance. A man is to give the same commitment and devotion to his wife that he would give to his own body in order to preserve his life.
When either spouse starts putting what they think they deserve ahead of what is best for their union, there will be problems. When was the last time problems caused within the family by a rebellious teenager were blamed on the parent-child relationship? Those problems are usually caused by someone acting selfishly. If any relationship is not respected by both parties it will struggle to survive.
No sir, bad students may fail, banks may fail, brakes may fail. Marriages don’t fail, people fail!
“The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves if we are underlings.” – William Shakespeare quotes
